If ever I needed a reminder for why I am here

It was visible in the experiences of this past week. 

I’m now beginning my last week of the break I thought would never end. Two Saturdays ago I attended the wedding of one of the teachers at my school. It was beautiful. I carpooled down towards Matata with several of the teachers from my school. Our location couldn’t be found on a map. Somewhere in the south-eastern corner of Swaziland amidst the plethora of Aloe plants, was a blue and white festival tent. The ground had been coated by strips of white paper that gave off the illusion that we were floating on a cloud, and despite the inexcusable heat, it was a pleasant event. I really enjoyed sitting at the table with the teachers, and socializing with them outside the school setting. They are truly beautiful people. The type of wedding I attended is referred to as a “White Wedding” that has more of a Western flare to it, and is much different than the traditional Swazi wedding. All the same, it still had it’s own flavor to it. A smile burst across my face when a conga line erupted in the aisle while we were waiting for the ceremony to begin, and it stayed there as the wedding party danced their way to the front of the tent.  I think it cemented the notion that I live here now, (I know I keep saying this… but I have to keep reminding myself that this is my life… because it’s still so unbelievable).

As a volunteer, it’s hard to forget that our work is only temporary, and that we’re not permanent fixtures in our communities, presented simply as catalysts for change. At the same time, I’ve been reflecting on this aspect of our service, because in truth, I feel like in general, the expectations for our generation have changed in that it is no longer expected of us to remain in the same place for our entire careers.  To each their own, but I wonder if it would not be beneficial to frame every new job, or experience as a short-term sequence in a much larger series of events, rather than placing emphasis on labeling something as “The” anything. Yes, I suppose I would then be living in a huge cloud of ambiguity, but at the same time, I’d hope that I would approach everything I do with as much consideration for the long-term effects of my involvement and re-evaluate what sustainability means in that particular context. I feel like if something is not seen as the culminating end point in and intense journey, than it is merely viewed as an obstacle, rather than a crucial learning experience necessary for further advancement. Perhaps at this point your eyes have begun to glaze over. Bear with me. What I’m trying to get at is how my work as a volunteer has reminded me that in most cases, the process is more important than the result. “Well, duhhh, Pam”, you’re probably thinking. And that’s fine. I can just sense an attitudinal shift as I come to the lovely conclusion that this experience (… my experience) is not in fact all about me. *Cue celebratory confetti canons* (how’s that for an alliteration?)

This past week I found myself once again involved in a training at IDM (my first home in Swaziland… a place that sparks both feelings of sentimentality and comfort, as well as full-body cringes and a tired mind when I think about how much time I’ve spent at this facility). 

As I mentioned a while back, I am a co-director for a program we have here called GLOW (Girl’s Leading Our World), and what this means is that next year I will be one of several PCVs in charge of organizing a week-long girl’s empowerment camp, as well as overseeing the development of various GLOW clubs, and providing training for counselors.  This particular training was the Training of Trainers or T.O.T. Although I am not really involved in the planning and execution of this year’s camp, myself along with the other co-director and the director for my group were invited to observe and help out with T.O.T. It was an incredible week. 

The training involved over 60 women, (a combination of both Swazis and PCVs) and was a crash course in the activities that go on at camp, and introducing the counselors to what GLOW is, and depicting all of it’s potential. The sessions covered included nutrition, providing counseling, sexual reproductive health, and healthy relationships, facilitation, goal setting, and planning (fun) activities. Having no idea really what this training was going to be like, it is safe to say I was thoroughly impressed with the work my fellow PCVs had put into making it a success, as well as inspired I felt by the Swazi women present as well. I was touched by their openness, dedication, and caring hearts, and I get goosebumps just thinking about the positive influence they are going to have on the girls in their communities. It was amazing to see the women rally behind topics that they felt so passionate about, and within that, I saw a glimmer of what the future of Swaziland looks like, and it is beautifully exciting.  Our last night concluded with a Talent Show, which without a doubt is my all-time favorite memory here thus far.  Not only because it was filled with side-splitting laughter, but because I felt a strong sense of gratitude for being apart of this experience, and being involved with such an incredible organization.  It also made me feel like I was at camp again, and like that person I wasn’t sure I had managed to bring with me. Which is pretty darn comforting. All I know is that I am going to tuck away this past week and keep it safely in my pocket, to draw upon if I am having those infamous REALLY bad days.

After T.O.T. I headed down to Candyland with Zinhle to spend the weekend in her community.  The ride was a lot less scarring than my first trip, despite the brutal heat (did I mention it’s HOT?). But I think I will leave that for another day, as tomorrow is Monday and I’ve got meetings to prepare for and a school development plan to write…

So, in the lyrical styling of Ke$ha, It’s going down, I’m yelling “timber!” You better move, you better dance.*

*Some one please explain this song to me.