It is hard to believe that today, June 8, 2012 marks one year in Moldova.
It has truly been a year of new. ...New country, new people, new culture, new language, new food, new, new, new. It has been one of the most challenging and rewarding years of my life. No, the time didn't 'fly by' as many like to say. The winter months were really tough, the language barrier was often very awkward, the cultural misunderstandings were embarrassing, the pickled vegetables...well, they got old. But, somehow with the support from family and friends back home and in Moldova I was able to get through. And as my high school track coach always said 'what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger'.
And so now, I will take a moment to reflect and share four of the lessons I have learned about myself and Peace Corps service in Moldova this year:
Firstly, the hardest part of adjusting to life in the Peace Corps for me, was learning to live life at a 'slower pace'. Now, what I didn't realize was that this is actually a loaded statement. It is kind of a sugar coated way of saying, 'Brittany, you will be playing a very long game of 'hurry up and wait''. As most people who join the Peace Corps, I thought it would be my way to change the world, sure it would be small but, in my heart I imagined that it would be profound. Upon arrival I was told, almost immediately, to lower my expectations. "No, you aren't going to change the world. No, you aren't even going to change Moldova. But, if you are lucky you will do some good and make some life long friends." Our awesome country director reminded all of us that our job here wasn't to 'change the world', it is to promote peace and friendship. Even though this was explained to me, I don't think I fully understood what that meant until later when I was settled in at sight. The image of success I had in my mind had to be tossed out the window, or else I would have felt like I was accomplishing nothing for two years. On these challenging days I looked to my fellow volunteers for support, and they remind me that I had left my bedroom that day, so I was in fact doing my job. Truly understanding my job description, of promoting peace and friendship, meant that if I simply lived my life in a positive way I would be fulfilling my duties. It was hard for me to fully come to a mindful and satisfied understanding of this but, as time went on I began to feel more confident in the fact that I am fulfilling my purpose here in Moldova.
Secondly, after understanding my role as a Peace Corps volunteer I decided it was time for me to simply live. I took part in community events, went to the office on a daily basis, and got involved in activities that interested me. Along the way I was able to find work for myself that wasn't forced, organic relationship grew, and slowly began to see my own impact in the community. The biggest part of this came from realizing that if I wanted to have an impact I needed to find a sustainable venture that could exist and thrive after I departed. This lead me to realize that the media takes the angle of sustainability in the environment and consumer goods, not so much on the sustainability of business or development. I had never thoughtfully reflected on the importance of sustainability in business development. And so, after a long while of waiting and building relationships I was finally asked by members of the community to help with a project they were invested in. This was exactly what I had been looking for, a meaningful project that the community wanted, not some exorbitant project I had worked up in my romanticized mind that would fall apart the moment I left Moldova. The lesson of understanding and following the path to sustainability has been a lesson I hope to take with me into all my future work.
The third lesson I have been learning is the importance of balance in life. I tend to throw myself fully into whatever it is I am doing, to the determent of everything else. All of my time, effort and might goes into trying to perfect myself in that given area. This sort of lopsided lifestyle gave me heavy anxiety and fear about even the most minor of things. Peace Corps has allowed me the time to readjust what I value. Speaking with host country nationals about work, life and relationships I have learned a lot. At the end of the day we all have been blessed with life, choosing to spend it sitting at a desk or worried about a deadline detracts from enjoying all the beauty that surrounds us. There will always be work to be done, but like host mom says 'the strawberries will only be in the garden for a few weeks'. Life is too short to spend worrying about building a career, having a perfect resume and, spending more hours in the office than everyone else. Sometimes we just have to turn off the computer, go pick some strawberries and enjoy the company of those around us. This will be the hardest lesson to translate back into my American life. I feel I am a hard wired workaholic. During those moments of stress I will think back to the days in Moldova, when I would get home from work early and host mom would already be home in the garden BBQing with neighbors, a glass of house wine waiting for me on the table. Sometimes we just have to leave the worries behind and quite literally enjoy the fruits of our labors. (...I'm telling you the strawberries are out of this world good!)
The fourth and final lesson I have learned is that no matter where I am in the world, the people that surround me make everything worth while. Its amazing to me, the goodness of people. Here I am, an early 20-something female American, coming to this little land locked nation speaking in broken Romanian and trying my best to somehow make a difference. My host mom has taken me under her wing, her enduring patients and acceptance of me into her family has turned into the most meaningful relationship I have in Moldova. She doesn't have anything to gain from me living in her home, and yet somehow she has made me feel warm and welcome. Back home I depend, like most, quite heavily on my ability to verbally express myself. Sometimes this ability lands me in a predicament because I often speak too quickly and find myself regretting whatever has just spilled from my mouth. So, a chatty-kathy now living in a country where she doesn't speak the language. I think I it would shock my friends and family back home to see me sitting quietly, anywhere, let alone everywhere. It is surprising to me how many meaningful relationships I have been able to forge given my lack of confidence in my language skills, and yet somehow a smile and a shrug can diffuse almost every situation. This process of learning another culture could not have happened without the wonderful people who have made this experience unique and memorable.
So, a year has come and gone and I have worked to understand my place in the community. I have begun to see where I can have a sustainable and meaningful impact in this little pocket of the world. A year that has opened my eyes to the healthfulness and happiness that can come from living a more balanced life. And, a gained appreciation for the people who fill my life, both in the US and Moldova.
Congratulations to all of the other Peace Corps Moldova M26 crew! We did it, one full year!
Noroc -- Cheers
Peace
-B
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