Last Friday I attended my first Moldovan wedding.
My host cousin married his fiance and I was invited to partake in the celebration. The event was held at a wedding hall in the neighboring district of Ungheni. Host mom and I prepared in the afternoon, got into our party dresses, and played around with our hair for a good hour. Well, it was mostly me playing around with my hair until I was able to put together something that was deemed suitable.
We left the house around 4pm and made the short trip to host aunt's house. There, with many of the other family members, we prepared to depart for the wedding. Preparation for departure included dressing-up a roasted chicken with a cellophane skirt, a string of olives necklace, roasted potatoes in gold tinted aluminum foil, and many other little details I have since forgotten.
When guests of the wedding arrived at the parents of the grooms home, they were ushered into the sitting room, where a quick toast to the wedding was made and the drinking was commenced. After guests were left to their own devices to enjoy the company of the others who had already gathered to chat about the falls harvest, grape prices, and the drudgery of a summer without rain.
I wanted to make myself useful and asked what I could do to help. This somehow was construed as 'I am hungry, feed me now'. I was whisked into the kitchen, sat at the table, and handed a large mug of tea and told to eat. I suppose the biggest help I could be was staying out of the way. So, that's what I did. Truth be told, I am quite good at sitting at a table and drinking tea.
Around 6:00pm we embarked from host aunts house in the rented routiera (mini-bus). As usual, there were several more bodies than there were seats, and a quick dash into the house for stools to be placed in the row between seats was made before we departed. The routiera was well past its prime, and whatever shock system it once had was long gone. So, in the very back row, crammed between the window and a few healthy women I swallowed a dramamine (thank god for those little pills) and prayed that the routiera wouldn't break down half way to the reception. We bumped and tossed our way there and around 7:30pm we arrived at the event hall.
We waited outside the event space for awhile, the entrance is important, we had to wait for the right timing. Around 8pm we made our entrance. Joining the rest of the guests who had already greeted the couple and were now forming a giant circle around the newlyweds. After everyone had given their best wishes, a few rounds of the hora (traditional circle dance) were danced before we entered the dining room.
I had a really great seat in terms of view. I was seated with the immediate family members at the table directly next to the newlyweds table, with a great view of the rest of the guests. Prime location, score. Host cousin carried his bride into the room and to their table where they would be sharing the first official meal as husband and wife.
Moldovan weddings are a very important part of the culture and as such, no expense is spared. This is most apparent in the meal that is served. When guests walk into the dining hall the tables are already set up with plate after plate of food, covering every single table. This is one of the biggest differences between a Moldovan wedding and a American wedding. In America, the catering company knows the headcount of the guests and provides food accordingly. Also in America, time and thought goes into creating a centerpiece for each table. At a Moldovan wedding the tables are literally covered with plates of beautiful food. No space is left on the table for any sort of centerpiece, I couldn't even put my cell-phone on the table, it was filled to the brim.
The MC for the evening kept the guests excited and the atmosphere light. We dined on the first 'cold meal', drinking champagne toasts, and watching traditional Moldovan dancers sweep over the bits of free space between the tables. After the meal we adjourned back to the dancing room where the bride and groom shared their first dance, complete with fog and bubble machines. Dancing commenced after this. I like the way Moldovans dance. Everyone has their own sort of space to dance, it's also quite calm, a back and forth motion with hands slightly raised is good enough, and for me that is about all I can manage. The dancing went on for a number of hours, coffee and tea were served with some mid-evening cakes.
When the dancing finally came to an end everyone made their way back into the dining room. It was time for the second 'hot meal'. Before this meal, the chicken that had been dressed up earlier in the day was presented to the god couple of the newlyweds. This is also a Moldovan custom, the newlyweds choose another young married couple to act as their mentors in marriage. I like this custom of seeking a couple to mentor and guide couples through good times and bad. I would imagine this system comes in handy when the couple needs a third parties advice, who better to turn to than people who are entrusted with the role to love and support the couple? After the funny chicken is delivered, the hand washing ritual is performed with the newlyweds washing the hands of their god couple. Following the hand washing, braided round bread and wine is served as a toast to the god couple. The 'hot meal' is then served, customarily this includes sarmale (grape leaves wrapped with rice and meat), and some meat dishes.
When the second meal has finished the couple than gets toasts from nearly everyone at the wedding. This was the portion of the evening that definitely strays from what we Americans would consider good etiquette. At the end of every toast the person announces how much money they are giving to the couple and then the money is placed into a large glass vase. My host mom explained that people are to state how much they are giving so no one takes advantage of the couple. Luckily, host mom took the microphone when it was our turn and I was spared from having to state how much I was throwing in the pot, she said it for me. This sort of thing wouldn't fly back home.
Following the toasts, we went back out into the dancing room and watched the bouquet and garter tosses. Then the couple sat on two chairs in the middle of the room and proceeded to get presents placed in front of them and blankets strewn over their shoulders. After some time they had been completed buried in the blankets. The guests would go up, wrap another blanket on top of them, duck down and wish the couple well. They were swallowed up by all the blankets, it was hot just looking at them sitting under the growing pile. When the parade of well-wishers and presents finally ended the couple emerged from the pile and waited for the presentation of their wedding cake. I shouldn't have expected anything less but, out came the huge three tiered cake with sparklers going off and music playing. We dined on cake and coffee for the remaining time.
And then, the most humorous thing happened. When people had finished their cake everyone slowly disappeared back into the dining room. I wondered what was going on so, I made my way with the crowd. And there, I found everyone taking plastic produce bags and filling them with all the plates that still had food on the table. All the food was taken, down to the last slice of bread. Host sister could tell I was slightly thrown off by what was happening and she explained that every place setting of food was about $80 and so all the food would be brought home and eaten later. The plates were scraped clean, the wine pitchers were emptied into containers, the half full bottles of cognac and vodka were consolidated or drank, and the dining hall was left empty of food and drink.
I do love weddings, they are such a beautiful celebration of love. Watching the way the bride and groom interact, and seeing the way they look at one another is so special. I was honored to have been apart of one of the most special days of their lives. And, I don't think I could have gotten a better example of a truly Moldovan wedding.
At the end of the night, we filled our arms with all the leftovers and piled into cars to make the journey back to Nisporeni. We arrived back home around 5am. I was told to change, and that we were going back to host aunt's for the after party. After party? It was 5am, I was done. I told them to go on without me, I had experienced all the Moldovan wedding I could for that day. I was tired, and it was time for the lame American to go to bed. They understood, I said my good nights (probably should've said good mornings) and headed off to bed. As I dozed off I was happy to have experienced such a night. And then I went to sleep, mind full of champagne bubbles and Moldovan folk music.
And to the newlyweds,
Multi fericire si drum bun in viata! (Much happiness and good travels in life!)
Peace
My host cousin married his fiance and I was invited to partake in the celebration. The event was held at a wedding hall in the neighboring district of Ungheni. Host mom and I prepared in the afternoon, got into our party dresses, and played around with our hair for a good hour. Well, it was mostly me playing around with my hair until I was able to put together something that was deemed suitable.
We left the house around 4pm and made the short trip to host aunt's house. There, with many of the other family members, we prepared to depart for the wedding. Preparation for departure included dressing-up a roasted chicken with a cellophane skirt, a string of olives necklace, roasted potatoes in gold tinted aluminum foil, and many other little details I have since forgotten.
When guests of the wedding arrived at the parents of the grooms home, they were ushered into the sitting room, where a quick toast to the wedding was made and the drinking was commenced. After guests were left to their own devices to enjoy the company of the others who had already gathered to chat about the falls harvest, grape prices, and the drudgery of a summer without rain.
I wanted to make myself useful and asked what I could do to help. This somehow was construed as 'I am hungry, feed me now'. I was whisked into the kitchen, sat at the table, and handed a large mug of tea and told to eat. I suppose the biggest help I could be was staying out of the way. So, that's what I did. Truth be told, I am quite good at sitting at a table and drinking tea.
Around 6:00pm we embarked from host aunts house in the rented routiera (mini-bus). As usual, there were several more bodies than there were seats, and a quick dash into the house for stools to be placed in the row between seats was made before we departed. The routiera was well past its prime, and whatever shock system it once had was long gone. So, in the very back row, crammed between the window and a few healthy women I swallowed a dramamine (thank god for those little pills) and prayed that the routiera wouldn't break down half way to the reception. We bumped and tossed our way there and around 7:30pm we arrived at the event hall.
We waited outside the event space for awhile, the entrance is important, we had to wait for the right timing. Around 8pm we made our entrance. Joining the rest of the guests who had already greeted the couple and were now forming a giant circle around the newlyweds. After everyone had given their best wishes, a few rounds of the hora (traditional circle dance) were danced before we entered the dining room.
I had a really great seat in terms of view. I was seated with the immediate family members at the table directly next to the newlyweds table, with a great view of the rest of the guests. Prime location, score. Host cousin carried his bride into the room and to their table where they would be sharing the first official meal as husband and wife.
Moldovan weddings are a very important part of the culture and as such, no expense is spared. This is most apparent in the meal that is served. When guests walk into the dining hall the tables are already set up with plate after plate of food, covering every single table. This is one of the biggest differences between a Moldovan wedding and a American wedding. In America, the catering company knows the headcount of the guests and provides food accordingly. Also in America, time and thought goes into creating a centerpiece for each table. At a Moldovan wedding the tables are literally covered with plates of beautiful food. No space is left on the table for any sort of centerpiece, I couldn't even put my cell-phone on the table, it was filled to the brim.
The MC for the evening kept the guests excited and the atmosphere light. We dined on the first 'cold meal', drinking champagne toasts, and watching traditional Moldovan dancers sweep over the bits of free space between the tables. After the meal we adjourned back to the dancing room where the bride and groom shared their first dance, complete with fog and bubble machines. Dancing commenced after this. I like the way Moldovans dance. Everyone has their own sort of space to dance, it's also quite calm, a back and forth motion with hands slightly raised is good enough, and for me that is about all I can manage. The dancing went on for a number of hours, coffee and tea were served with some mid-evening cakes.
When the dancing finally came to an end everyone made their way back into the dining room. It was time for the second 'hot meal'. Before this meal, the chicken that had been dressed up earlier in the day was presented to the god couple of the newlyweds. This is also a Moldovan custom, the newlyweds choose another young married couple to act as their mentors in marriage. I like this custom of seeking a couple to mentor and guide couples through good times and bad. I would imagine this system comes in handy when the couple needs a third parties advice, who better to turn to than people who are entrusted with the role to love and support the couple? After the funny chicken is delivered, the hand washing ritual is performed with the newlyweds washing the hands of their god couple. Following the hand washing, braided round bread and wine is served as a toast to the god couple. The 'hot meal' is then served, customarily this includes sarmale (grape leaves wrapped with rice and meat), and some meat dishes.
When the second meal has finished the couple than gets toasts from nearly everyone at the wedding. This was the portion of the evening that definitely strays from what we Americans would consider good etiquette. At the end of every toast the person announces how much money they are giving to the couple and then the money is placed into a large glass vase. My host mom explained that people are to state how much they are giving so no one takes advantage of the couple. Luckily, host mom took the microphone when it was our turn and I was spared from having to state how much I was throwing in the pot, she said it for me. This sort of thing wouldn't fly back home.
Following the toasts, we went back out into the dancing room and watched the bouquet and garter tosses. Then the couple sat on two chairs in the middle of the room and proceeded to get presents placed in front of them and blankets strewn over their shoulders. After some time they had been completed buried in the blankets. The guests would go up, wrap another blanket on top of them, duck down and wish the couple well. They were swallowed up by all the blankets, it was hot just looking at them sitting under the growing pile. When the parade of well-wishers and presents finally ended the couple emerged from the pile and waited for the presentation of their wedding cake. I shouldn't have expected anything less but, out came the huge three tiered cake with sparklers going off and music playing. We dined on cake and coffee for the remaining time.
And then, the most humorous thing happened. When people had finished their cake everyone slowly disappeared back into the dining room. I wondered what was going on so, I made my way with the crowd. And there, I found everyone taking plastic produce bags and filling them with all the plates that still had food on the table. All the food was taken, down to the last slice of bread. Host sister could tell I was slightly thrown off by what was happening and she explained that every place setting of food was about $80 and so all the food would be brought home and eaten later. The plates were scraped clean, the wine pitchers were emptied into containers, the half full bottles of cognac and vodka were consolidated or drank, and the dining hall was left empty of food and drink.
I do love weddings, they are such a beautiful celebration of love. Watching the way the bride and groom interact, and seeing the way they look at one another is so special. I was honored to have been apart of one of the most special days of their lives. And, I don't think I could have gotten a better example of a truly Moldovan wedding.
At the end of the night, we filled our arms with all the leftovers and piled into cars to make the journey back to Nisporeni. We arrived back home around 5am. I was told to change, and that we were going back to host aunt's for the after party. After party? It was 5am, I was done. I told them to go on without me, I had experienced all the Moldovan wedding I could for that day. I was tired, and it was time for the lame American to go to bed. They understood, I said my good nights (probably should've said good mornings) and headed off to bed. As I dozed off I was happy to have experienced such a night. And then I went to sleep, mind full of champagne bubbles and Moldovan folk music.
And to the newlyweds,
Multi fericire si drum bun in viata! (Much happiness and good travels in life!)
Peace
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