I re-discovered the beauty of this book, and how much it applies to my life here. My life in a fishbowl...

Wishing you could help dreams come true?

I wouldn't normally use this as a means of advertising so explicitly... but this is a really important project that many of my fellow PCVs are working extremely hard on, so I thought it would be nice to support their efforts... especially since you all know how much I love the library at my school...hehehe... But in all seriousness, our pal Arthur (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlCm7-Y1wtk) knows that having fun isn't hard when you've got a library card... So, if you're not hating me for getting that song stuck in your head, help bring the fun to Swaziland by donating to our "Books for Swaziland Project". PCVs will be collaborating with schools in their communities to start up and bring books to 30 libraries in 2014!

Just follow this link, and the rest is easy!  https://donate.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=14-645-001

Eating Mangos in Hhohho

You can really squeeze a lot in a week here.  

The adventure started last Thursday when Lomaswazi and I departed from my school to catch a khumbi to Mbabane. Our destination? The country director’s house. What was guiding us there? The aroma of delicious food.  Although we weren’t gathering strictly for our homeland’s festivities… the following day would also sponsor an “AllVol” event where it would be the first time that all G10 and G11 volunteers would sit in the same room together for professional reasons.  It was interesting to see how our two group dynamics intermeshed…and they didn’t clash like I thought they would.  The main point for this gathering was to discuss the new format for the VRF (Vacuous Rabble Forum)… er… I mean… Volunteer Reporting Form.  You know you’re an MI student when… you get really excited to partake in Monitoring and Evaluation, followed by a statistical analysis of the data you’ve collected… But in all seriousness, the new VRF mechanism is super cool, and I am actually *nerd alert* super excited to begin filling it out. But we’ll see when I actually sit down in January and begin scrutinizing my past six months here. 

I ventured home on Friday (after walking through an amazingly well-stocked grocery store… with cream cheese, curry paste, and many other magical things) with Thandolewethu the volunteer at the High School for the Deaf.  It was a nice trip home, and we got to talk about our experiences at the schools, and brainstorm a little bit about uniting our communities.  Although there are many aspects that are similar between our schools, we are living very different experiences.  For one thing, she has ¼ the number of students at her school than mine.  So it’s just nice to exchange stories and see what else is going on.  I won’t really go into the history of the schools, but it would be amazing if by the time we both fly home to ‘Murica they were working together. 

On Saturday, I attended Sanelisiwe’s daugther’s Pre-School Graduation. It was probably one of the top ten most adorable things I have ever seen AND there was cake.  It was fun to go and support her and act as a photographer for the afternoon.  It was pretty much a little showcase where the students read poems, sang songs, and there were even costumes.  Also, attending something like that made me feel like I was actually part of a family, and of the community, which was a really nice feeling. 

I had spent the morning hanging out with the ten or so students who had yet to be picked up by a responsible adult.  It reminded me yet again of being a camp counselor… waiting with the campers who’s parents had spaced about the pick-up time. I broke out the checkerboard and tried to keep them amused while they waited hopefully, not entirely sure if anyone was even on their way.  I think that’s been one of the hardest things to adjust to… the different role of the parents, or the absence of parents (for one of many reasons… the country has a saddening percentage of Orphans and Vulnerable Children… OVCs).  The supervision is also something that always catches me off guard.  Save for the kitchen staff who remained to feed the students breakfast and lunch, none of the teachers were there to ensure that the students were collected, or even picked up by the right people. I am still unsure if I should feel encouraged by this, or anxious. 

Sunday meant it was time to head back towards Matsapha. I was happy to learn that Sanelesiwe was also traveling to Manzini, so we got to ride a kombi together.  I then met up with Thandolewethu in Manzini. We had planned to go to the bomake market and buy some crafty holiday presents. Although not all of the stands were open (it was afterall Sunday), but it was actually quite pleasant. We were the only shoppers strolling through, and the usual hustle-and-bustle was not present, so I felt like I could take my time to walk around and not have to simultaneously navigate through hoards of people. I spoke with a few of the craftspeople in hopes that they would be willing to come to my school to teach some of the students their trade. One man who made drums, and incredible paintings offered, so hopefully that’s something that can be solidified in the future. 

Thandolewethu and I then set off for Matsapha, in a sense our home-away-from-site.  This time, as mentioned before, our training would include program design and project management with a counterpart from our community… This meant that we anxiously paced around the corridors of IDM as we waited for them to arrive… we all had a not-so-secret fear that we would be jilted and have to go back home. Fortunately, only two PCVs got stood up, but have the opportunity to attend the training again in February. (See… our fears were totally real). This was by far my favorite training since being here. It was incredible to be able to sit down with our counterparts, brainstorm a vision for our community, and address the challenges we think our community faces, and then work to devise a plan of how to overcome those challenges. It was just amazing to have the time to go through that process, and in relative detail.  I had brought Nosipho, a teacher I have been working on the Sign Language Book with.  It was neat to see that we both felt that in order to help our community grow, we needed to address the lack of sign fluency amongst teachers and students, and develop a “staff development plan”.  I am very excited to begin working on this new project (one, interestingly, that I had hoped would happen… but had kind of given up on the idea… look how life works some times!).  The workshop really rejuvenated me after a busy and stressful end of the term, and rekindled my hope and faith in those I am working with that we can truly achieve a common goal.  Things are magical falling into place, and it is beautiful… now we just have to wait and see. 

At the end of the workshop I traveled with Zinhle back to Manzini, where we met Tambile, a volunteer who will be attending the same workshop only in February.  We were going to spend the night at her homestead.  The drive to her site was incredible. We passed the biggest lake in Swaziland, it the landscape was a 1,000 shades of green.  I always get a twinge of sadness when I visit another volunteer and see their homesteads and observe their interactions with their families. While I sort of do have my own kind of homestead here, it’s crazy how different their experiences are from mine. It makes me feel like I live in a city… (which is not entirely false…), but I’ve always been a country mouse, so it’s strange.  Tambile lives in the foothills of some mountains in the Hhohho region of Swaziland.  The walk to her site was stunning, and her homestead was cozy.  A sisi offered to get us some mangos so we meandered over to the tree and gathered at least 30 mangoza.  We then went to the “little kitchen”, a roundevel (…spelling?) with a thatched roof, seated ourselves on grassmats and forgot to worry about juice dripping down our chins or the uncomfortable feeling of mango-strings in-between our teeth.  We then got to keep a ton of mangos, which was awesome… I’ve been eating like 3 a day… so satisfying.  It was a really nice visit, and we had delicious grilled cheese for lunch. Tambile’s hut is super comfy, and I enjoyed swinging in a hammock for a good chunk of time.  I think I know where I am going to spend some of my break… haha

Although kombis and public transport in general tend to be an exhausting experience… I really love having the opportunity to see how this country transforms from winter to summer… from desert to tropical oasis.  It’s even more exhilarating when for a second I comprehend the fact that this is my home. This, coupled with the fact that I feel like I have finally found my footing in terms of transitioning from being a clumsy mlungu to a volunteer/professional is pretty empowering. 

And with that, here are some parting words of wisdom from my counterpart, Nosipho. “Dig deep into your brain box… it can’t be empty.”

“Angifuni”: A How-to Guide for those persistent marriage proposals

This is going to be a several part series...
 
Sometimes it takes a lot for me to muster up the energy to meander into town…only a few things really push my need to go more than twice a week… those being the acknowledgement of having not enough of the right ingredients for “no bakes” and having no food in general once I’ve exhausted all of my leftovers and ate a meal that could have been a prize winner in “Chopped” for creatively throwing ingredients together.  This isn’t because town is miles away. Comparatively, I probably walk less than most other volunteers, nor do I have the task of hulling water from a borehole or a river. It’s not even the extreme heat… living on a plateau still means that summer is blazing hot… but it also means that I am graced with the soft breezes of the Moz. Ocean.  No, it’s the fact that I never know what conversations I’ll have, or people I’ll meet in my hour or so in town.  This isn’t so much a reflection on the characters of men (or people) in this country so much as it is merely a narration of some of the more trying experiences I’ve had here in terms of testing my patience, or requiring me to be good-humored more than is humanly possible.  For the most part, I honestly think the comments are the basis of a joke… “I wonder how she’ll react” sort of provocation. There’s only been a couple instances where I felt like it was really harassment.  But I thought it would be funny to compile a list of responses I’ve come up with, or have heard from other volunteers when “angifuni” (I don’t want) just isn’t enough. 

1.     Make them laugh.  Scenario: I was walking back from town toting some groceries (why I always manage to buy milk AND eggs at the same time, I’ll never really understand), and I was feeling good about making it through the busrank without any scarring experiences… when I noticed a cluster of guys communicating, briefly looking over their shoulder and pointing in my direction.  Well this should be interesting… nevertheless, I trudged on.  As could be expected, just as I passed them one began to frolic towards me, with the most ineffective, yet most-used pick-up line in all of Swaziland…”Mlungu, iyahpi? Ngiyatsandza” Which roughly translates to “Where are you going foreigner, I love you.” I know, I know, I’m crazy for wanting to run away.  Meanwhile, his friends were moving significantly slower, and were a good few feet behind him, watching this scene unfold as though it were from an episode of Generations. I was anticipating them to reach into their bags and start munching on some popcorn. All-the-while, it appeared as though they were doing the best they could to sustain any great bursts of laughter. I smiled knowingly at them, and questioned “ninjani?” How are you? Thus, letting on that I new ample enough SiSwati to entertain their hopefully brief conversation. As I trudged onward, the man persisted to tell me that we were going to get married and live in one of those houses conveniently sitting on my left, as I persisted to contrast everything he said… then a few school girls approached us, and they too were taking in the scene with relative looks of amusement plastered on their faces. I realized then that I could let myself in on the joke with a little help from some unexpected studio audience members. As they got within “whispering” distance I cupped my hand around my mouth like I was letting them in on a secret and lightly said “Inyanzelayo!” which in dire situations could amass an army, but for this particular purpose just simply means “help”.  The girls began to giggle, and then my man friend, caught so off-guard by the fact that I knew even that word actually stopped, and LOLed in a way I’d never seen anyone laugh like here before.  I continued on my merry way, and once he’d caught his breathe matched his strides with mine, but this time just left it at “Well, if you change your mind, I live over there”, I said “Hambani kahle” (go well), waved, and we went our separate ways. End scene.

Let me take a moment to check my attitude at the door…

A phrase I haven't uttered since PST, although I felt it's resurrection necessary given my moodiness these past few weeks.

With less than two weeks left in the term I am trying to keep life in perspective.  For starters, it’s rather confusing to acknowledge that it is nearly December. What with the fact that it has been in the 90s, and “sweating profusely” has become my normal state of being. I am simultaneously welcoming the break with open arms and honestly terrified of it.

And like most things here, time easily molded into delicate folds of origami waiting to be tucked somewhere as a token representing a particular period of my life.  It is now officially the start of break. I spent the last two weeks trying to pull the school calendar together and solidify as much as I could in preparation for the coming year.  While seven weeks feels like eons of time, I know that before I know it will be January, and I’ll either be accustomed to the still silence of an empty campus, or will be anxious for it to be brought back to life with the sounds of laughter and school bells. 

November was very good to me. It showed that friendships had deepen, my language had developed and solidified the sense that I am in the right place.  Although I was extremely anxious about it, I was able to launch my student council, which I am also extremely excited about.  It took over a month for me to put the right signs together to communicate it’s purpose and persuade the students I had rendered as leaders to want to be on board. While I do not currently have a counterpart at the school (another teacher per say) one of my best friends here, Sokuhle who teaches sign in Manzini, and is a real role model to the students, has been able to come here and help me explain it to the students and communicate it’s significance. For the time being I have six students who I am going to begin providing leadership training to.  This includes how to run meetings, setting an agenda, writing minutes, and public speaking. However, part of the responsibilities we’ve discussed include how they are going to be role models to the younger students. The concept of “setting an example” is not the same as the one I grew up with, and so I’ve had to think carefully about how the group should transform, be legitimized and what role exactly the students should play. Thankfully, they are super excited and really liked the idea of building skills. I was worried at first as Sokuhle and I listed the responsibilities and expectations that they would back out. However, I am truly lucky to have Sokuhle, as he was very encouraging of the students and articulated that we were there to support them. I am intrigued to see where things go in the next year. For the time being I bought them all little notebooks to write their ideas in, so I have a glimmer of hope that they’ll think of something over the break. 

In the past few weeks I feel like I finally stopped feeling like a Mlungu (foreigner).  This is also evident in the realization that I am beginning to forget that I stick out like a sore thumb, and am the cause of many double takes.  This is mainly due to the fact that I feel like part of a team here at the school, and have been slowly chipping away at multiple language barriers.  It’s an incredible thing when you realize that people have chosen to trust you, and that the respect you’ve worked hard to exhibit is being reciprocated.  I was honestly a mess back in July when I first moved in with my host family and stuttered along through the syllables of siSwati.  If you could have told me that I was going to be as happy as I am now, PST would have probably (… maybe) been a lot less miserable, and full of anxiety. The fact is, I feel so fortunate to have made the friends I have, and that I was able to feel comfortable enough here to let my guard down enough to learn to laugh again, rather than feeling constantly on edge. We all joked that it was the mefloquin (malaria prophylaxis) that was making us paranoid… but I think it was just my brain rapidly trying to process everything that was around me.

For Thanksgiving we were all invited to the Country Director’s house for delicious kudla. It was really nice to have the opportunity to hang out with my fellow PCVs and some of my favorite food. I was a little bummed at first, because that meant pulling me out of school during the last two days of the term, and year. I knew that when I’d return the following day, most, if not all, of the students would have been collected by their parents or bogogo.  It reminded me of the end of the first summer when I bawled like a baby after my campers were picked up… these silly kids always weasel their way into my heart.  It was a pleasant surprise to see that a few were still here when I got back. I had arranged a skype date with my family (the first one in 5 months!) and I had just logged on, when they came out of the dinning hall, and the older girls filed into the teachers lounge… I don’t know how they find me sometimes. It was pleasantly fun. They hung out during the skype date and got to “meet” my family, and I interpreted as much as I could. It made me incredibly happy to see these two worlds kind of collide for a little while. They even gave them sign names, which was neat. I think in some ways that described my experience here far better than me just rattling off what I’ve been doing. 

This next week I’ll be back at IDM (where I spent my first two months here), attending a training in which we are allowed to bring a counterpart with, and talk about program design. 

We interrupt this programme for a breaking news update: The storms here are incredible, and I am thankful that they tend to occur in the evenings, when I am safely indoors tucked beneath my snuggie. You know it’s intense when the wind makes it through your closed windows. Usually I get tired of the lights flickering and end up chillin’ by candlelight. Also, I discovered that with enough force the rain also makes it's way through the door... so I had a lovely pool forming in my hut... oops.

Anywho. 

Other than that, I don’t really have much else to share… save for some gems I’ve been gathering for a few topic-focused posts.  But that’s for another day.

Insert Creative Title Here

I’ve now been in Swaziland for over four months and it feels like home. I am in love with my site. The students are incredible, and the teachers continue to be supportive and a good source of laughter.  I feel as though I am really part of this community, and that has really helped in my settling in. Although I’ve only been living at my new home for two months, it feels like I’ve been here much, much longer (but not too much long).

One of my favorite things about my site situation is that I live in an apartment next to pretty much all of the bothishela that live at my school. This means that in the early evenings, or after dinner I can spend time chatting with their families, gathered around the TV watching Generations (anxiously awaiting the terribly intriguing plot twists…), and sharing the occasional meal.  I have made it a tradition that once a week I cook for my counterpart Sanelisiwe and her family. It has been a really nice exchange, and makes me feel like part of a family, and Sanelisiwe enjoys learning new recipes and sharing food, so it generally works out. Most importantly I feel like a real person again, in other words, I feel like myself again.  Zinhle and I used to joke during PST that we weren’t real people, because we felt that we couldn’t act the way we would naturally, as we were trying to adjust to a different culture with different social expectations, while the same time feeling constantly like we were on stage wondering whether the audience was going to laugh with us or start throwing rotten vegetables. Thus, I spent much of PST honestly anxious, and uncertain. However, now that I feel more comfortable here, and understand when a joke is being made, and when I need to quickly exit stage left… I can laugh with the audience instead of feeling laughed at. It’s honestly quite wonderful.

So where am I going with this…?

Sanelisiwe has a daughter who is five years old, and at the age of being super curious and wanting to participate in everything.  She was sitting on a bucket in the kitchen and I decided it would be a great idea to take a piece of my hair, and drape it across my face above my lip, and below my nose, making a silly mustache. This sent her into a fit of giggles. Sanelisiwe then turned around (although she was in the middle of cutting some chicken), and burst out laughing. This has become a defacto move if ever I feel I’ve walked my way into an awkward moment or if things start getting too serious.  Sanelisiwe has also been extremely wonderful in making sure I’m doing okay, inviting me along when she goes into town (hey, she even stopped the car long enough for me to snag some pictures of a few giraffes), and not letting me miss out on the incredible VoetKoeks at Shopprite. That’s a quality friend right there.

The other teachers have also been extremely welcoming, and what is neat is that the Head Teacher suggested that I do little workshops with them in the mornings before class, focusing on topics such as mental health and wellbeing. This has been a neat project to work on, and a great way to become part of the team. We just completed In-Service Training (which was a crazy two week reunion…) and upon my return to campus several teachers came up to me and told me they had been bored in the mornings because I wasn’t there to teach them. The Head Teacher told me yesterday that she is going to change the schedule a little bit, and have classes start later in the day so I have more time in the mornings for my workshops. I am very excited because my latest topic is Goal Setting and Planning.  I think as many of you know, I enjoy a little structure in my life… and the school has been without a school calendar, thus, things sort of just happen, or they sort of don’t.  In thinking about the projects I wanted to start, but being unable to follow this schedule intuitively, (as I feel the teachers here have a sixth sense of knowing when things will happen…) I offered to help make a calendar. I am SO excited. Seriously. I had the teachers generate a list of ideas of things they want to do next year… clubs they want to start, programs they want to develop, and fun activities even for the teachers themselves. They came up with an incredible list. I then asked them to write their name next to the activity they’d be interested in working on, and was pleasantly surprised that EVERY teacher signed up to lead an activity, and some even signed up for multiple activities. I had been really stressed that I was going to be the only one starting projects, and that I wouldn’t have any support, so anything I did would just fizzle out upon my departure. Now I feel like even if some of the things still don’t actually happen, the teachers are learning the skills to program activities in the future.  I’m having them write up little plans for these activities so that we can give each other feedback on how they can best be carried out.  Some teachers even came up to me and said they were excited for 2014. This with the break in two weeks is really encouraging. 

So where might you also find me?

Begrudgingly (although, admittedly, I am enjoying it now…) I was placed in charge of the library operations at the beginning of this term.  It’s been a love/hate relationship for sure, but I’m now at the point where I know enough sign to communicate “library clean please now close” quite effectively. Other students also tend to follow my lead and help me tidy up, and ask each other to wrap-up and go. The other day, however, had me questioning what on earth I had gotten myself into.  It was the third or fourth day of rainy, cold weather, and it just so happened to be pay-day. This means that the teachers were excused from class so they could go to the bank. However, what I didn’t factor in, was that all of those kids, that would normally be in class, would be free, and want to remain in doors because it was unnecessarily cold outside. Therefore, my 11 person library class quickly expanded to 20, then 40, and before I knew it I had over seventy students crammed into the library, which is half of the entire school. Me and 70 students. For all you camp counselors out there, that’s a pretty terrible ratio.  I kind of forget where I was going with this, but I think for as much as my blood pressure went up during the two hours I spent in overseeing that many children as the library was pretty much bursting at the seams, it made me realize that for starters, I really can never guess what I’ve gotten myself into here, and secondly, that despite that horrible ratio, I must be doing something right, because the library closed in a relatively orderly fashion, and I’m glad that, despite my better judgment, I agreed to work in the library this term. It has served as a means through which I have really gotten to know the students, and figure out what role I want to have within the school. I think many of them have incredible leadership potential, and if I didn’t spend 15 or so hours a week hanging out with them in the library, I might not have been able to see that, or know how to communicate with them as well. I also made two checkerboards out of cardboard, and that has been a big hit.

This past week (as noted above) we were brought back together at our original training site to have “In-service Training”, it was much more difficult than I thought to tear me from site, and as I walked through the school gate I had to hold back tears, because I realized how much I was going to miss everything about the school for the next two weeks. While I do think it has been a nice break, and great to catch up and learn more skills, I am looking forward to being back in my house, sharing laughs over tea and chasing the pre-schoolers around pretending I’m a lion.  I think this means I’m integrated.

School holidays begin in December, and although I’ll miss the students, I am looking forward to having time to work on some of the projects I have started to develop, and practice my SiSwati. There are a few vendors in town that I am looking forward to hanging out with. I got super excited because I saw a “South Africa” version of “Monopoly” in Shopprite at a reasonable price and bought it immediately. I then proceeded to march proudly through town clutching the game like it was a long-lost teddy bear. As I strolled through the Bomake market my pal Mavis saw me and exclaimed, “Bongiwe! Can I play that game with you?” after which she promptly stated “I will beat you”, and I remarked “Challenge accepted”.  It’ll be fun to spend a couple days playing monopoly in the market (although I am sure my game will become a little rough around the edges), and hey, I’d say that’s a lesson in financial literacy.  This moment, along with many others that I now cherish, are why I am enjoying this experience so much. This is truly the most incredibly opportunity I have ever had.

I am also excited because I am now a Co-Director for the GLOW Camp that occurs annually in the April/May school break. GLOW stands for “Girls Leading our World”, and the camp counselor in me is pumped beyond belief. It is also exciting because Zinhle is the main director, and I like the other volunteer who is the other co-director. It’s going to be a really fun and enriching experience. 

Well, I think that’s a reasonable summary of October for now… every once and a while I pause and am awed that I am where I am, doing what I’m doing, things no longer seem so foreign, and I can easily see how far I’ve come since the end of June, which is a pretty neat feeling.

Until next time,

Salani Kahle. 

A sign that I'm aging...

I just posted the same post... again... and have no idea how to delete it... oooops.